I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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