There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
