but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
