It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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