We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
