I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
meet me or not, i'm out of control
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize