Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
