doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
