When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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