rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
