In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
