The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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