you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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