My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no, he came in my armpit
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
