also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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