i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
