IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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