I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
