he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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