Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
someone owes me an orgasm
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
