Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
