I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
