umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
