Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
