my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
