That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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