but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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