Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize