Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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