More tranny stories later!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
