I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
