that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
