if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
