do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
