4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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