How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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