fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
