i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
