I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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