Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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