i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
