I CAN MOONWALK!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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