If i come over, it means nothing
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
bring money and cleavage
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
