I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
