Im at strip club and am horny
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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