Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
