Don't you send me to vm
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
