I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
