she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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