in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize