you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
