i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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