Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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