Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
