Swine flu. Run for my life!
high people should be assigned attendants
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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