***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
