I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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