on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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