Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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