Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
