I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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