why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
