Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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