I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
