i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
