ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
